Note: On my other blog, I've occasionally written a series of short reflections which I try to keep under two or three paragraphs. I would like to try writing a few such short reflections here, as my time permits (you'd be surprised). They're not polished or finished, but sometimes its best that way.
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Quote:
Have mercy on me, O God, in your faithful love, in your great tenderness wipe away my offences; wash me clean from my guilt, purify me from my sin. For I am well aware of my offences, my sin is constantly in mind.
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So begins Psalm 51, one of the Psalms composed by David during the time of his repentance from the Bathsheba affair. It is this last line--verse 3--which catches my eye. "My sin is constantly in mind." When we do something which we know to be wrong, it sticks with us. We have what may be called "guilty knowledge" (to borrow a phrase from Dr J Budziszewski), and that knowledge sticks with us, perhaps even haunting us when other things have been long forgotten. I can still remember some of my worst sins as a child, simply because they were so bad, as least as far as I was concerned, and this long after I confessed them.
Here is where the healing of the memory comes in. These sins, for which I have long since repented and been reconciled, and for which I rather hope I have atoned, I can still nonetheless remember. But I am not haunted by them: the memory is not pleasant per se, but it is no longer painful either, and especially not in the same way as more recent sins might be. This part of my memory has healed, and ultimately all of it will heal, either in this life of the next (assuming, of course, that I enter into heaven and not hell). This healing of the memory is, I think, one of the last parts of reconciliation, which can ultimately be accomplished fully only with time. Fortunately, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we can be reconciled to God and His Church for the price only of confessing and repenting--but our memories bear the scar of the sin all the same. This is something to keep in mind each time we're tempted to fall into a sin which we know is wrong.
Tags: Reflection Healing Forgiveness
