This started out to be a hard week. I had some personal issues that came to a head all at once. I was very upset crying and not knowing what to do. I called a good friend that suggested praying to God. He suggested going to somewhere quiet so that I could hear God talk to me. He assured me that God would answer my prayers if I just listened.
I was driving around in my car because that is what I do when I'm upset. I pulled over and started to pray. It was so dark and very quiet and I just asked God what I should do. In my mind maybe even my heart all I could hear was the Serenity prayer. I started to say it. Tears were streaming down my face and a strange calm came to my heart. It was a very awesome feeling. I normally dwell on the negative and wonder how I can fix things to make them right. I realized these things were items I can't fix. They were things I had to accept and let go of. After I started to feel much better I started to drive home when my phone rang. The voice of an angel was on the other end. She listened to me and I to her. We talked like we were old friends sharing stories and dreams. My friend asked her to call me and make sure I was ok. The support I have found from the people in my life is starting to change. I am sure it is because I am accepting God. I see more positives and I am much much happier. The rest of the week went pretty smoothly.
I attended the Stations of the Cross with Paul and Jessie. I even had my daughter attend. She didn't want to admit it but she did enjoy it. I listened and read as we went through the stations. When we got to station ten where Jesus is stripped of his garments I started to cry. It was if I felt his pain or his love I'm not sure. I was hoping my friends didn't see but really didn't care if they did. I reflected on the love of his mother Mary and the love I have for my children. The pain she must have felt to lose her son in such a way. My heart filled with love for her and for Jesus and all that he has given up for me. I feel a great amount of pride knowing him and being able to serve him.
Mass was awesome today. I felt a great warmth in my heart. I was standing between two families and both were warm and friendly. On my left was the lady of the family and on my right was a son of the family. Now I have to admit I really like the hand holding part of mass. It's like a power flows through you and you can feel the spirit as you pray. When we were at this part today again I felt the spirit. I must admit I didn't believe the young man would take my hand but he did I was awe struck. He was calm and caring. He said his prayer with strength. The lady on my left it was the same. When it came time to shake hands both these people smiled a warm smile and made me feel very welcome. I am very pleased to be a part of this church. I feel the love of God more and more everyday. Some more reflection on the week and changes in me are that instead of eating a bowl of ice cream or some other sweet to deal with my pain I wanted to pray. That is a new first for me. I also want or feel the need to do what is right not only for me and my children but for my faith. Faith is so important. I have always been a seeing is believing type of person but now I know that even though I can't see God I know he is there. I feel him in my heart and all around me. I am blessed.
