Marriage is one of the sacraments of the Church, meaning that it is (among other things) a sign pointing to a grace given by God to the spouses; it is also a vehicle for that grace. One of the functions it holds as sign is to be a witness: to the spouses, to their family and friends, to the Church, the community--and to the culture at large. As such, marriage points beyond itself--after all, a sign's end is to signify something--to a deeper reality: namely, to Christ's love for His Church (see Ephesians 5:21-32). Marriage therefore points to the covenant between God and His Church, and as such is a permanent institution between the spouses for so long as both live*.
However, our culture wants to treat marriage as anything except a sacrament--a sign--and a lifelong covenant.We want to have marriage on our own terms, and not on God's. Thus, for example, we have a culture which is slowly but surely looking to legitimize gay marriages, and perhaps polygamous or incestuous ones as well. On the other hand, the culture has long sense moved beyond merely "legitimizing" fornication, pornography, and adultery. These are not merely tolerated or even treated as "healthy alternatives" to abstinence or faithful and monogamous marriages, but are often trumpeted as superior to either of the traditional moral options.
Then there is divorce, which Erin Manning has recently called "
Christian America's golden calf." Writes Mrs Manning:
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Erin Manning wrote:
In a nation that still likes to pretend to itself on convenient occasions that it adheres to the Christian principles on which it was founded, it's absolutely amazing to consider how cynical most Americans--even most Christian Americans--are about marriage. In the years since America's founding divorce has gone from a social liability to a necessary evil to a mere rite-of-passage for so many; remarriage after divorce has become so widely acceptable that only a handful of people are ever so churlish as to refuse to attend a second wedding or to join the new bride-to-be or husband-to-be in the new pre-wedding pastime known as "bashing the ex."
....Yet Christian America dances and makes false sacrifices in front of the idol of divorce. Denouncing all the other evils produced by the sexual revolution, such as abortion, casual attitudes about sex, and similar social ills, many Christians unquestioningly accept divorce as a kind of "insurance policy" that protects them against unhappy or unsatisfactory marriages. Although this really means, in the truest sense, that many Christians stand up at the altar and promise to love and honor each other--until they get bored or tired or meet someone else, certainly not until death parts them--few Christians understand the implied insult in a so-called promise or vow made in those terms.
If we Christians really want to reform our diseased culture, we will start by unhesitatingly rejecting the evil of divorce--an evil which hurts men and women, damages children, and tears away at the fabric of society.
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The culture which rejects marriage as a life-long covenant will ultimately begin to accept this host of other "similar social ills." Ours has already made considerable "progress" in this department, and this includes the part of our culture which is supposedly Christian. Thus, it becomes difficult to show the contrast between Christian marriage and, for example, the radically Marxist or Feminist concept which sees it as little better than a power struggle between the spouse. Alternatively, it is viewed as that thing we do when we want to "settle down": after, of course, we are burned out on all the hedonistic pleasures and temptations which life has to offer. If marriage is to be treated (or even worse, celebrated) as a temporary arrangement rather than a permanent covenant, then there is little to say that fornication is wrong, or for that matter adultery. A marriage which can be dissolved on a whim from either partner is one which is not worth "waiting" for, nor is it really worth being faithful to.
With the divorce rate near 50%--and Christian marriages faring little better than secular ones--there is little reason for the culture to view marriage as anything particularly special or permanent. A good, strong, faithful, and loving and lifelong marriage is therefore a very strong witness against the culture which says that such things are impossible. Indeed, it is possibly the strongest witness that those of us who are married can give.
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*As an interesting bit of added symbolism, the marriage bond is ended when one of the spouses dies; in the meantime, a mortal sin severs the soul from God's sanctifying grace. Mortal sin is the death of the soul, though of course we are able to return to God's grace through reconciliation, whereas we will have to wait until the afterlife to see our deceased loved ones again.
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Originally posted on my
Equus Nom Veritas blog.
Tags: Culture-of-Life Culture Morality Marriage
